WHAT’S BETTER IN A RELATIONSHIP, HAVING LOTS IN COMMON OR NOTHING IN COMMON?

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Many relationship columns always bức xúc that it’s better khổng lồ date someone with shared interests & I must say that I’m not necessarily a subscriber to this theory.

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I think shared values are far more important than shared hobbies. Just because somebody likes the same type of music, movies, books, activities or food as you does not mean that you will live happily ever after. It’s no good if you two don’t have shared ideas as lớn what you believe is good or bad in a relationship. I go lớn the thể hình regularly & have sầu met some women in the gym who lượt thích working out as much as I vày but there’s no way I’d consider a relationship with them solely based on the fact that we both lượt thích to lớn sweat profusely for 5 days a week.

As you get older, all you’re left with is conversations with the person that you’re with on your rocking chairs & if all you can talk about with each other is your favourite bands & nothing else then God help you both if they don’t have sầu an extensive music catalog.

Many couples I know who have sầu been in long term relationships of 5 years or more don’t all have sầu things in common, khổng lồ quote a recent email I received, “I am lượt thích fire, he is like ice, I love reading, he doesn’t”. There are other differences between these two but they are happily married & have sầu a svào relationship & what keeps the glue together in their relationship is the fact that they know that they don’t have khổng lồ do everything together.

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I am rather passionate about this matter because it smacks of gang mentality when two people are told that they shouldn’t be together because they don’t have sầu much in comtháng. Not many outsiders get khổng lồ see beyond the surface of the relationship. I have sầu seen it happen lots of times. A person goes lớn a friend and complains about their other half or says that they are thinking of leaving và more often than not the frikết thúc asks, “what do you have sầu in common?”, which I think is the wrong question to lớn ask. The right question to ask is, “what bởi you lượt thích about him?” or “what don’t you like about him?”. Many a relationship has ended because a frikết thúc has offered bad advice based on superficial assumptions such as, “you lượt thích music festivals, he doesn’t, therefore, you can’t be together” Even as I type it và read over the words it seems very irresponsible.

I think shared values are far more important than shared hobbies. Just because somebody likes the same type of music, movies, books, activities or food as you does not mean that you will live sầu happily ever after.

Many dating profiles I read online or many people I speak with who are single always look for someone with shared hobbies when in actual fact they should be looking for someone with shared values. As you get older, all you’re left with is conversations with the person that you’re with on your rocking chairs và if all you can talk about with each other is your favourite bands và nothing else then God help you both if they don’t have an extensive music catalog.

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